Every Wednesday – starting THIS Wednesday 11.25.09 – will be Words of Wisdom Wednesday #WOWW.  Think #followfriday or #musicmonday. Now there’s #WOWW.

The point of Words of Wisdom Wendesday is to tweet parental nuggets of wisdom that you would want to pass along to your kids.

This idea generated from something I do for our mini we who’s now 17 months old.  A few months after he was born I created a Words of Wisdom booklet for him. In there, I quickly jot down short nuggets of things I learned along the way that I want to pass along to him. Most of my words of wisdom arose from accidents, missteps or disappointments but, most of the time that’s when you learn something new. I did this and am still doing this just in case something happens to me.  I want him to have a place to seek out my motherly advice and guidance no matter what.

So now, we’re going to pull together as a twitter village and create the ultimate Words of Wisdom booklet for all of our children.  Call it the greatest collectively assembled teaching guide.

List Recap:

1. Backcountry.com

2. REI

3. L.L. Bean

4. Gap Kids

And, let’s not forget that all toy boxes are 100%: handcrafted, wood & guaranteed.  Beat that other toy box maker!

I would love a dark cherry alphabet toy box for mini we… but, I’d love to choose another alphabet style.  What would be awesome is if WoodToyBox.com would provide a user generated (in general or by popularity) engraving option.  Similar to Treadless (gosh, I LOVE that site).  I’d pay extra for that option.  That would be taking the idea of crowdsourcing to the consumer product level.  Love it… WoodToyBox.com please consider.

psst…they’re also made in the USA.  That aspect feels especially good to write about on Veteran’s Day.

Rent The Runway is (in their own words) “…a community designed to fill the needs of women who know and love high fashion, who want to look glamorous for all their nights out (or even a special night in!), who want to have fun

with fashion but who don’t want to deal with all the anxiety of investing in piece after piece. Users benefit from the expertise of professional stylists and the shared wisdom of like-minded fashion-forward members. Through exclusive relationships with top designers, Rent the Runway is able to continually update its stock with the latest pieces.”

It’s really simple. Here’s how it works – just  3, quick steps:

Browse through our array of A-list designers and find a dress you love. Or two!

Schedule a delivery date, and your dress will appear on your doorstep. Next-day and even same-day delivery (if you live in NYC) is available, for last-minute wardrobe crises. And we’ll send you a second, back-up size—just to be safe.

Put your dress in our handy pre-paid packaging and drop in the nearest mailbox (we take care of the dry cleaning!).Enjoy ladies. Hope you get in off the waitlist.  And in a similar vein, check out Bag Borrow or Steal.  The original inventor of the idea of making the financially inaccessible accessible.
Update: I’m in.  Off the waitlist.  I really like the selection of rentable dresses: Tuleh, Herve Leger, Lela Rose, Robert Rodriguez Black Label, oh and so much more.  This is like a little girl’s dream come true.  Fabulous finds at affordable prices.  All dresses range from $50 to $200 for 4 days.  You can keep the dress for an extra 4 days (8 days total) for an additional cost (my Lela Rose dress was $90 more for 8 days).  And if you’re renting a designer for the first time then you can select 2 dress sizes so you can find your fit.  And, my last plug, you can rent a back up dress for a mere $25 for 4 days.  Totally worth the cost.  I always end up spending a lot of money on a dress that I only want to wear once or twice.  It’s more fun to don something new rather than rewear one awesome piece of clothing.  Enjoy!

Me.  I would 100% without a doubt in my mind giver her some milk and give her a little more for tomorrow to help hold her over until she could get to the store tomorrow.  That to me is a no brainer.  Any mom would react the same way.  Right?

Well, wrong.  If you can believe it moms and dads there are actually people out there – like my neighbor – that are rude and just not nice.  And, this woman is a mom herself.   In times like this, I like to just think about all my friends and family and Jack – our dog.  That helps remind me of goodness and the power of positivity.  Good things will come to genuinely loving people and bad things will follow those who are not nice.  Simple and true.  Hope this never happens to you (running out of milk or nasty neighbors)!

1) You won’t forget to create it

2) No one else will claim

You may think I’m crazy but, think about it from a numbers perspective.  Already, 1.4 billion emails names have been taken.  By 2013, The Radicati Group, a technology market research firm, expects there to be 1.9 billion (yes, billion with a “b”) email users worldwide.  Simson Garfinkel wrote in a 2004 Technology Review  that there will exist “roughly 5,000 addresses for every square micrometer of the Earth’s surface.”

So, parents it’s up to you if Junior is going to end up being kmsmith7ydkilhi19908@gmail.com instead of simply kmsmith@gmail.com. Ok, I admit, a slightly exageratted email address but, you get my drift. So, go make it happen.

It’s hard to walk away; even when it’s the right thing to do. Especially if it has to do with your child.

Mini we started school (well, day care/day school … whatever you’d like to call it).  And, the hardest thing that I had to do is know when it was time to walk away.  He doesn’t want to leave me most mornings when I drop him off at school.  He holds on sooo tight.  Holding his blankie in one hand, all while clenching his sippy cup of water with that same hand and with the other hand his is pulling on my blouse.  We are tight.  We have always been tight.  Especially since it’s been primarily me and him since he’s been born.  His daddy deployed for Afganistan for a year after he was just a wee bit 2 week old.  So, mini we and I rely on one another.  Luckily, now his daddy is home, we’re settled in our new house and life is good.  However, mom does have to now go to work 4 days a week so mini we is taking on a new adventure, day school. He does like it.  It is happy when I pick him up and gosh, I’m boring!  I know they do more fun activities while at school versus him being at home with me all the time.  So, it’s the right decision.  But, it’s still hard.

So, practically every morning when I take him into school and he sees his teacher and figures out what’s coming next, he grabs me by the neck and pulls my shirt and this has become one of the most challenging parenting situations I have faced. Since we’re so tight, it hurts to know that I will have to gently pry him off, calm him down and get him settled and slightly distracted before heading out the door only to hear him wail that I left.  It’s hard.  But, with time (in the past week and 1/2; and, all of the teachers tell me it takes 2 weeks for a child to feel 100% comfortable in their new enviornment without their parent’s prescence), we have both gotten better at it.  Mini we pulls less and I have learned to smile, kiss him and leave.  Short and sweet.  I have learned NOT to overdramatize the situation and extend my stay.  I thought it would make things better, it just makes things worse.  Mini we ends up missing you more and you will cry more on the way to work.  Short, sweet, smiling AND time will do the trick.

Do you think about running and hiding or big hugs or of people who just don’t get it.  Whatever your reaction is to this often controversial word, Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project has provided us with 10 Tips on how to get along better with you in-laws.

1. Remember the mere exposure effect.

“…Familiarity breeds affection…The more often you see another person, the more intelligent and attractive you tend to find that person.”

2. Act the way you want to feel.
Feelings follow actions.

3. Avoid pointless bickering.

4. Mindfully articulate, and act in accordance with, your own values.
“One of the great mysteries of human nature is that when we accept ourselves, other people tend to accept us. When we don’t accept ourselves, people tend to pester us. If you know your own values, and live according to them, people’s pointed remarks don’t sting nearly as much, and strangely, they often back off.”

5. Try to keep some perspective.
Was really worth a fight that mini we went to bed an hour later at gammy and pop-pop’s house?

6. Remember grandparent privilege.
“Grandparents get to be indulgent, if they want. Or super-strict, or have weird rules. That’s grandparent privilege.”

7. Remember parent privilege.
Every parent has their own parental style and parental rules.  Respect that.  They may not be the same as yours and, yours may not be the same as theirs.  That’s parent priviledge.

8. Respect others’ priorities.
“If you’re having trouble with someone, ask yourself, “What’s important to this person?” That we all have Thanksgiving dinner together? That we go to church together? That the grandchildren come visit for the weekend? That we dress a certain way? Unless it violates your deeply held principles, it’s generous to try to respect other people’s priorities.”

9. Think about your spouse or your child.

10. Focus on the positive.
“Find ways to be grateful for your in-laws. At the very least, your in-laws are the parents of your spouse, or the beloved of your child. Look for the good. Try to make jokes. It could probably be worse.”

It could be worse!

Thanks Gretchen for yet another great post!

We had a nanny lined up.  Then we get a call that a spot opened up at a great day school.  Thus, my husband and I started debating the merits of nanny v. day care. After pondering for this for over a week and doing A LOT of external research (reading articles, studies, talking with lots of other moms and dads), we decided the best option for our mini we is day school (aka: day care).

Here’s how we came to that decision:

Nanny

• Personalized attention.  A positive because we know that all of mini we’s needs will be immediately taken care of (that is one of the key element’s of the nanny’s job).  A negative as mini we is already self-enamoured.  We’d love for him to learn patience and that there are others besides him that have needs.
• Familiar setting: Mini we has his own bed, his own high chair, his own toys, pictures of mom and dad, thus making it an easier transition. However, mini we may feel like a prisoner in his own house unless you make the nanny make it a priority to take mini we out of the house to explore other surroundings (parents: these outings will cost you additional $ and in most cases, the nanny will have to drive your mini we).  We, personally, didn’t want our nanny driving mini we around so much and the additional costs add up quickly when you sit down and do the calculations.
• Easier on Mom & Dad: The nanny comes and leaves our house.  A logistic dream. Enough said!
• Greater Chance for Drama: With a nanny, you’re welcoming a new member into your family.  A member that has his/her own baggage to deal with outside your walls.  With that, there’s a greater possibility of having to deal with the nanny’s drama.  We’ve all heard the horror stories.

Day School

• Socialization: A day school setting with the right quantity of kids is a prime opportunity to hone mini we’s socialization skills.
• Self-Confidence: Mini we will start to trust himself more.  Thus, building his self-confidence.  It will not just help with separation issues that are often the case in toddlerhood, but also with building self-confidence.
• Possibility of adapting some behavioral problems: This concern correlates with having a high-quality staff as we tend to learn from our environment and the staff will be the regulators of the environment.  A high quality day care staff will minimize or eliminate this concern as will worthwhile parent/child interaction.
• Structure: Many studies show the young children thrive in a structured environment.  They are creatures of routine and prefer to know what’s coming next.  Day care’s offered structured routines – which is a benefit; whereas, nannies offer a greater degree of flexibility.
• Regulated: We especially liked this aspect v. a nanny.  The fact that day care’s are regulated by the government.  They are required by the state to follow certain protocol such as change diapers at a minimum of every 2 hours.

Keys to finding the right day care:

• Ratio of Teacher to Kids: (Our max for our 14 month mini we was 1 Teacher to 5 Kids)
• Kids’ Appearance: Are the kids messy, dirty, look like no one really has been taken good care of them?  Trust me, I toured a few day care’s and this aspect stood out negatively to me in a couple of places.  Be observant of all of your surroundings when touring day cares.
• Staff Qualification: Make sure that the staff is qualified at least to state regulations and also trust your instincts if the day care is in it for the money or if they are really caring individuals who love children and love what they do.
• Menu: Ask to see the menu from the last 2 weeks. We prefer to feed mini we homemade organic food so this element made a significant difference to us.
• Outdoor Time: How often and for how long are the kids outdoors?  What do they do when they are outdoors?  Are the minimum and maximum temperatures of when they’re not allowed outdoors?  What do they do then?
• Reputation: Ask other moms and dads!  This is a great way to find out the dirt.  Post a question to a local parent group online.  I found our local online yahoo parent group through a customer service representative that I ended up chatting with. You may have success just do a search online “X City Yahoo Parent Group” or “X City Parent Group.
• Structure & Curriculum: A structured environment and a stimulating curriculum are key.  Make sure to look for both.  In regards to “stimulating” curriculum, remember the age of your little one and that most of what they learn will come from engaging conversation and socialization.
• Clean, Safe Facilities
• Current License

If you select the day school route, remember that it is essential that when you are with your mini we, you give him or her the right amount of loving attention and affection.  You must make it a priority to keep a tight bond with your mini we.  However, the risk of a weaker child/parent bond is present in both nanny and day school scenarios so parents please make sure to stay connected with your mini we by really listening and paying attention to them, reading books with them, spending time exploring the backyard or playground, creating new designs with blocks or just playing a Fisher Price toy with your mini we.  Whatever you do, stay tight.

Likewise, according to a WSJ article “the best rule of thumb is to keep time in child care at the lowest level that makes sense for your family — and below the 45-hour mark.”

And lastly remember (quote taken from the same WSJ article), “One big factor is the quality of care — whether the child is compelled to “fit in” and adapt to a group schedule, or is free to pursue his or her own needs and desires with the support of caring, engaged adults…The best route for parents is to keep a close eye on their child, monitor quality of care closely and be prepared to alter the child-care setup if it becomes too stressful, for either the child or the family.”

Good luck and trust your gut.